Ramblings…from my bed

I am sitting in bed, wondering why on earth I am awake this early on my day off. It is my first day off since last Saturday, a week that was pure and utter hell. Examples include the fact that  have not checked my email/facebook or blog since last week, let alone any other blogs. I had finishes between 2 and 4:30 am all week. Now thats over, I feel extremely frivolous and can’t take anything seriously so this will be a an erratic light-hearted post. Today I am going to wash my hair (I <3washing my hair). I bought this gorgeous hair stuff that makes my hair smell sooo good ML literally snuggles his nose in hair telling me how good I smell.

I think all this time I spend at work has made him very amorous, and I have been treated to the most romantic side of him. The best part of my day are his emails to my work address that are uncharacteristically sweet and disarming. I think being away from me has made him remember ‘US’ and in his words, why he fell in love with me. Yesterday was topped off with a quick email which I almost wanted to google, because it seemed so perfect it sounded plagiarised. Not sugary sweet and “hallmark” esque, but just natural. But then again I know him, and he would never ever think that hard about something he wanted to say to me, we are beyond all that, it is really whatever we want to say, whenever.

I might take a walk to the local beauticians to get de-furred and possibly a pedicure.I think I deserve this, as does ML who has done all the cleaning and assures me  even dusted all the furniture so that I can have a day to myself. It will be so nice to just have  day to myself. Every single time I leave the house I spend money, not enough to make a perceptible difference, but enough to know that it was not in the budget. I always find things that I ‘need.’ Not even want, I need this, I tell myself. Last week was a trip to get my eyebrows waxed, in the knowledge that it was my only day off. I ended up spending hours in shops, including buying a new floor lamp for the living room (which I think is soft and contemporary) and some beauty products from Sally’s.

It’s a good thing I am easy to please, I could have taken the train to the West End and got a Mulberry bag….that I could just as easily convince myself I need and want. 

On to more important things:

Random thoughts

1.  How do you feel when someone who is less than hmmm, glamorous or tasteful compliments you on your style, and does so passionately?? Is it a compliment or a warning that your taste is going down the drain
2. People with bad breath and/or body odour should not be allowed on public transport (they should get an ASBO (Antisocial behaviour order English law- will getcha every time)
3. Jealously ogling another girl’s ginormous and extremely sparkly diamond engagement and wedding band is quite shameless, but only natural diamonds are a girl’s best friend
4. My face is starting to look plodgy- no other word to describe it, actually there is puffy, soft, round. I think its time to cut out the…..sitting on my ass
5. A few weeks ago I could have sworn I had reached my sexual peak….I was literally scoring goals in every single game- ML even commented that I should have been awarded the team’s Most Valuable Player award-  MVP.  Since then- being exhausted has taken the wind from under my sails. I will however, be climbing firmly back on the proverbial horse, as this is an opportunity that cannot be missed. I think that sex in a relationship gets better with time, just when you would think it would get more boring (5 years of monogamous coupling and in total about ten years on and off of kissing the same boy). This funny picture from my sister accurately portrays current feelings towards bananas. I am currently in therapy and waiting for the current aversion to leave.
6. Banana split 
7. ML is such a metrosexual he is religiously taking my hair, skin and nails supplement
8. Should point 7 be worrying?
9. I think I am having weird sick in the stomach feeling (I think I need a few home cooked meals)

Random Picture

FINALLY…save the best for last some Blog Love from Joy the new mama of the most gorgeous newest addition to the world Scotty. He is so perfect- go over and take a peek.

Here are the rules:
1. You can only use one word!
2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers.
3. Alert them that you have given them this award!
4. Have Fun!

The Survey
1. Where is your cell phone? handbag
2. Your hair? braided
3. Your mother? determined
4. Your father? charming
5. Your favorite food? sushi
6. Your dream last night? work
7. Your favorite drink? champagne
8. Your dream/goal? happiness
9. What room are you in? bedroom
10. Your hobby? blogging
11. Your fear? infertility
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? sunshine
13. Where were you last night? work
14. Something that you aren’t? patient
15. Muffins? blueberry
16. Wish list item? camera
17. Where did you grow up? h-town
18. Last thing you did? coffee
19. What are you wearing? sweats
20. Your TV? his
21. Your pets? Princess
22. Friends? neglected
23. Your life? hectic
24. Your mood? exhausted
25. Missing someone? yes
26. Vehicle? train
27. Something you’re not wearing? bra
28. Your favorite store? MAC
29. Your favorite color? pink
30. When was the last time you laughed?morning
31. Last time you cried? months
32. Your best friend? diamonds
33. One place that I go to over and over? home
34. One person who e-mails me regularly? Dad
35. Favorite place to eat? manhattan

So here goes…6 of the bloggers on my mind, today. I hate picking my favourite blogs, because I have so many but I will just pick the ones based on purely random factors, or because I have visited them today.

Mrs X is a real live character from this blog, quite honestly she has shocked me by starting a blog, just because I did not think she had time, or interest as she is busy being a city slicker, a yummy mummy and a doting wife.  Babs is a new discovery, witty and random enough to keep my interest (I have a very short attention span).  I stumbled on two lovely chocolate couples today whilst tag surfing- and would love to tag the better half (only because I dont think both can answer the above), simply as a result of this post . I know I have said no repeat offenders, but this post, deserves an award, as does this one. And finally she is,  literally, my best friends little sister.There…thats six, please can someone give me an award so I can keep adding….

I am getting out of bed…its 2pm

April

If you want to tell God a joke….

tell Him your plans for the future

This is not what I imagined my life would be, when I was a little girl or even a littler woman.  But it is only human nature.

When we look forward we always have blurry expectations, you ‘picture’ your life as it will be years later. I envisaged, a swanky job which would celebrate my intelligence and allow me to wear high heels daily, a man with broad shoulders (literally - broad shoulders- stemming from a dream I had when I was in primary school of waking up next to a man in a light airy room with white sheets who wrapped me snuggly in his arms, protector and  provider. It was so calm and  I felt peace that was so indescribable, the feeling and the image have been imprinted in my memory. He had no face but a clear image of his dark chocolate masculine arms and shoulders) and a couple of good children. Good being the key word. You know the kind of children who say, yes please Mommy read after school and kiss you goodnight dutifully. The kind of children whom ML would say were dull- taking after me, not him.

What was never in focus (or even blurry, at that) was the reality of checking the list off one at a time. The arduous journey to the swanky job, the many frogs that lead to your Prince Charming. The reality of actually having a real grown up relationship with Prince Charming. Realising that the indescribable peace, does not come from his arms or from anyone else other than yourself. Balancing the reality of having what you always dreamt of once you have it, the man, the job and everything else. Knowing that part three of the dream would have to wait and admitting/realising that I do not actually want..part 3…now.. or for a while…a loooong while.

I sometimes even wish I had more time on my own. It is so hard to balance time at work, time with ML, time on my own and time with my friends. Sometimes I just sit around, knowing I should call someone or go out to see someone but the thought is so tiring, I don’t.

I am not saying that life is not as beautiful as I imagined it would be, in fact I think that the journey is so much more exciting and real  and turmultous. For example, I can’t wait until Christmas (because the life of a working adult revolves around the next holiday (nobody warned me about that), and in England we do not have Thanksgiving so Christmas is next), but it is not really about one day, its the whole period leading up to the day (which let’s face it…is always anti-climatic). I always end up hot, sweaty and tipsy in the kitchen, and since I am now an adult, I even have a turkey, trimmings and a ham to cook. Only difference is, I am having a Christmas tree this year and possibly a cocktail get together. My very own Martha Stewart inspired tree worthy of a get together. I suppose trees are normally for people with children, or even people under the age of 21 in the house but I don’t reallyt care- its going to a grown folks tree. And besides by the time the little ones come around, I will have had practice.

 

Last year around Christmas we were broke but we still hosted Xmas (that is how I learnt the price of a turkey) and it was still amazing. We made the most of everything we had and the love people showed us. I think when you look back all the hardships and all the pain you go through, and makes it all much gratifying in the end. It seems so silly to say this, but,  when you strip away everything you have and see whats left, it never really changes. The bones of who we are remain consitently the same. Hardened? yes, older? yes, wiser? occasionally,  yet that little girl who despite knowing better, still dreams about tomorrow in the same blurry way as she did before.

Much to my dismay… I am changing slowly, or circumstances are changing slowly…

1) Random people,  from ML’s barber…to my landlord are asking me for legal advice with with the same hopeful – then the blank look- I get back when I explain I am not that kind of lawyer….(but I end up listening anyway)

2 My idea of multi-tasking includes sending a text to ML from the toilet seat at work while doing a number 2 (I am no longer grossed out from the idea of taking a dump at work, because I practically live there and the only thing worse than taking a dump at work is your stomach making sneaky noises in a silent office with just you and your supervisor)

3) My pee occasionally smells like coffee

4) I talk to my supervisor more than anyone else in my life…..and when I come home I talk about him.

5) My love of proofreading has finally reached a new level (or low), I even proofread magazine and newspaper articles.

6) My grasp of English grammar is amateurish in comparison to everyone who has been at the law firm a day longer than me.

7) I have begun sending personal emails in bullet point form, and have to stop myself from signing off,

Kind regards

 April

Poll Dancing….on a Sunday?

Talking to Peachie the other day, complimented her on her hair (short, healthy not show-stopping..but good hair). She remembered that it was time to get a touch up relaxer from Junior Green. Award Winning hairdresser Junior Green?? Yes the one and only….Junior Green, appropriately located in posh Knightbridge.

“Oh…..”  was all I could manage. He charges………….wait for it……..£125 (US$200) for a relaxer!! Which brings me on to my next remarkable observation, Solange Knowles Beyonce’s sister confessed to Oprah that she spent $40, 000-$50, 000 a year on her hair before chopping it all off. 

I don’t think I could  justify spending $200 a pop on my hair. How much would spend in one go and not a special occasion (like the Oscars or a wedding)? The most I think I have ever spent is maybe about  £100 (although ML would argue that I spend more if you take into account the fact that I am a product junkie and have about 5 conditioners (for example) sitting under my sink!

So here comes the quick poll – please answer!!

 

Oh and because I know there are some true Oprah Lovers I think you should all watch the hair-episode. My favourite segment is the first one, Chris Rock says when he realises that Oprah is wearing her own hair, “Now thats rich! the houses don’t impress me, but that hair- thats rich”  Chris rock  had me giggling for a whole hour.

 

Oh and on a “non-hair” hair tip, I was inspired by Vimbai to go and get a wax down there. I have already had two and I am so hooked I am thinking of eradicating the landing stip as well (partly due to the fact that ML said that as it is now it reminds him of B.A Baracus aka Mr T but then says he loves it). Not a bump in sight, and in fact I am completely addicted to the whole experience. It’s like a little secret that I am all put-together even under my skirt (wink wink). However, I do recommend tendskin, it is amazing and I am quite certain that it is part of the reason why my skin is looking so soft, smooth and…can I say radiant in relation to my noonoo? Well I will- it is ‘radiant.’

So I realise that as this is a Sunday, I owe this blog some beautification, aka Sunday Haute Choclit.

I am afraid the beauty of today’s chocolate is so exceptional I feel gluttonous just thinking about it…suffice to say, it cannot share the spotlight with the Poll. I propose to post it on Wednesday or sometime during the week, but it has something to do with weddings.

 

Kisses and Happy Sunday

Snakes and Ladders…

 

Ladders!

Dear Little Brother

I miss you so much…I keep thinking I have seen you

Today I was walking around the train station on my way home, and I thought I saw you,  my heart ached as I realised there was no way that he could be you because you are half way across the world from me, and I have not seen you in four years. I am losing out on so much of your adult life.

Dear BFF

What is going on with you? We had such a nice time the other night, but why were you being such a bitch witch? You said some inappropriate stuff, but I was too tired to react. Fact is, I really appreciate the night out, it was precisely what the doctor ordered but whats wrong with you? Why so prickly?

You look so sexy and the diet must have worked well, because you are sooo skinny!! I am so proud of you. Do you think you are irritable because you are hungry? Love you anyway, hungry and all.

Dear Mom,

Please stop calling me so much, I am sooo tired and the guilt trips are not going to work. Give me a little longer to settle in, then we will be able to catch up. Also I know I work now and I earn a living but that does not justify me calling you, at international rates whenever the urge arises.

Dear ML

I know I have been too tired to pay attention to you sometimes, I am just exhausted sometimes. Before yesterday I could not remember when we had last had sex. Its not that I did not want to, its just that, whenever I walked into the house, I was exhausted and could not for anything start doing anything even if I desperately wanted to.  I am sorry we do not have time to catch up, on both sides. Today I will ask you whats going on with you and take some time to tell you whats going on in my life. Thank you for keeping the house so fresh and clean for making sure everything is spotless when I walk in every night and for running errands for my like sorting out my bills and making calls for me. You have been a model boyfriend in all respects.

Snakes?

Dear Personal Assistant,

I think you are too cute…in fact I think its ironic that the only black PA on my floor belongs to the only black lawyer on the floor. Sometimes I think you resent me for being where I am (I know you also went to law school and we might be the same age), other times I think we get along perfectly.  The other day when I left the office for training and I told you to tell my supervisor, why did I come back to a bunch of irate partners who could not find me when they needed me to proof-read a crucial document?  I looked sloppy and disorganised. Now I try to rely on another PA when it really matters because she is more reliable. You might resent me if I keep doing this. I like you, but you are supposed to make my life easier, we are not in competition. If I do well, it means you are also doing a superb job.

Dear Jacob(fellow newbie lawyer 18 months ahead)

You are such a climber and a snake. I can’t believe you refused to bring my file back from training when I was called out to go back to my office and could not come back because the deal had reached fever pitch. I cannot believe you then proceeded to walk into my office, with the sincerity of a nun, when I was surrounded my the Head of Department and other partners and within earshot of the whole office  to say, “April I know you are really busy, if there is anything I can do to to help, anything at all, you name it!” - I smiled sweetly, thinking you asshole, you could have brought back my file- but did not say that, all I managed was a weak, “thank you I will let you know if anything comes up” I am watching you, hands in pocket all the time, oozing self confidence and cheesy well-timed grins.

Gossip girl (fellow newbie lawyer 6 months ahead)

You told me that I did not have time to and could not put on my jacket and freshen up for a meeting. “Besides” you assured me, “its only other lawyers coming, no need, and I do not even have a jacket with me today, its no big deal.”  You walked out to get something from the office. I got a call from my supervisor to come back to the office, and as I climbed up to the ninth floor guess who I saw with a sheepish grin, and in a jacket, you gossip girl. I do not dislike you, I just think that such tactics show that you are really pathetic.

 

If I turn into you, or Jacob, I will curl up and die. Is it nature or nurture or a bit of both?

I got my game face on now…..can’t trust anybody

 

April

(to everyone else…Happy Sunday)

Sunday Haute Choclit

So I have been outed, my best friend’s little sister  discovered my blog!! But I am not going to  censor it —this is who I am and I think everything I say on this blog she probably knows about me already. I love her and I am so humbled that she actually read this blog before she figured out that it was me and heaven forbid, LIKED IT, I guess it also provided  the impetus I needed to contribute to this jumble of words after a long hiatus.

Before I begin my periodic musings I have to mention the “league of incredibly yummy mummies!” I adore you all and especially the next expectant lady, who is as we speak 37 weeks along..her blog is butterflies and hurricanes. The second, is Queen Esther who has lovely blog called Queen Esther, with the by line..”you were chosen for a time such as this” love it- she has also started house-hunting and her blog is featuring the most adorable fledgling  nursery.  Please visit their blogs and share in their trials, tribulations and excitement. Like Oprah, (yes Oprah… again)  I share immense gratitude and awe for these women who bear the proud title of “mother.” Its not a walk in the park (neither is having a dog-shoot me) and my experience is still limited to babies of the canine variety.

My cousin had her  baby and although I will never host a baby shower in any shape or form, (sorry future mothers of the world) her angelic face makes it all worth it. I love her to tiny little itsy bitsy pieces. I will not discuss her labour and the first week of being a mommy, suffice to say, I respect you mommies.

Isn’t she lovely? And she is only a couple of hours old here…..

Onto updates

I have a lot of things to report on including my fabulous new life as a city girl. It is the best time of my life, can I say it again? It is the best time of my life!! I still pinch myself. I finish late, start early have had very little sleep and yet I can honestly say, I have never been so professionally fulfilled. I keep telling ML and my Dad (the two biggest time wasters) my hourly rate! If you wanna know it drop me a message and I will tell you (beware – I WILL charge per hour to reply to your query!!)

I am so deliriously happy that my life is finally where I want it to be and I think a small part of me that had become complacent with my life has died. I think I had forgotten what it was to have a vocation and a career. To actually have the career ladder in my sights.

Recently ‘overheard’ a senior partner talking to his wife several times, she kept calling asking for advice on the wall paper, the new kitchen appliances, whether to get a granite worktop, which restaurants to book for dinner on the weekend, talking about whether the dog has gone out for a piss and their young baby, with a predictably posh name like Benjamin Theodore. Have you ever noticed that posh people never, ever shorten their children’s names. Its always the full version, said with such gravity you would never imagine they were discussing a toddler with poo in his diaper at that precise moment.

 I realised that booking test drives for porsche over the weekend with your husband and home making with a fleet of nannies is probably great. I asked myself whether I would want to be the wife on the other side or the man bank rolling it……I did not hesitate when I came to the conclusion that the reason why she keeps calling is because she is probably bored out of her mind, lonely and perhaps, only maybe, unfulfilled. Just maybe, SUE me!! I would rather be him….to come home to a home cooked meal, to see the children when they are too tired to irritate me, and then to spend a weekend with her. To have my gorgeous doting wife say, “leave Daddy alone, he is tired he just came back from work.” I would rather be him. Side effects of being a partner?? They do get completely stressed out and do weird things like;

1) Ignore people who say good morning and then try and conduct a fairly normal conversation with feigned concern for your well-being hours later

2) Hit golf balls  (no putting literally slamming) in dangerous locations (e.g. 9th floor offices)

3) Burst into Christmas Carols after long bouts of silence (in early September)

4) Literally sprint out of the office on a Friday night (as though life depends on it)

5) Earn at least a million pounds a year, and yet, wear a suit with a hole in it (why?? because he can’t be bothered) he has earned his dues.

But I have to answer a recent charge that although I am a self proclaimed feminist I am a “Martha Stewart” type. Both my sister and my best friend’s sister have made this claim. The truth is I believe that feminism is about choices. Its about choosing to be someone or to do things because I WANT TO and not because you are being forced to. Some people express their love in other fulfilling ways. I choose to be a personal chef amongst other things. I once dated a guy who cooked every single meal for me, I mean I dated him for almost two years and I never cooked for him’once. He used to come home from work and cook for ME?? His mother always used to accuse him of trying to make me fat, he used to laugh it off. He looved feeding me and I used to let him (my hips and my tummy agreed). Although I was a competent chef, because I knew that he used to express his feelings through cooking and I did too, I never could do that. But now I am in my element. I love nurturing and cooking (I think it has something to do with my mother), and I am afraid that this aspect of my relationship will suffer if I keep working hectic hours. I guess it will be an opportunity to express love in other ways??

Random thought- Grey hairs anyone?? I also found a grey hair in my head. Conversation goes something like this

Zimchic: Baby, I think I have a grey hair can you believe it???

ML: Let me see it!!

Zimchic: I cant believe it I am 27 who gets grey hairs at 27 for fucks sake??

I walk over to ML who proceeds to pluck the single grey hair from my head

Zimchic: Ooooh you son of a bitch how could you do that? IT WAS MY GREY HAIR TO PLUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I never asked you to take it out you dumb useless man..I hate you….

ML:   I thought you wanted me to take it out…I’m sorry I thought you wanted me to

Zimchic: I hate you, I hate you (on the verge of tears)….I never said I wanted my hair out

 

ML: Why do you say such mean and hurtful things, I said I was sorry…I HATE YOU TOO!!  

 

Luckily the grey hair had some resiliance and it is still there (checked this morning)…I have

Finally, whats a Sunday without some hot chocolate??

Jackie O meets Michelle O inspired dress

 

Michelle O- Vogue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I saw this dress from LK Bennett… which I thought was very purtty…..but at 195 pounds it was not really practical for a starter career wardrobe, instead I found this stunner from Marks and Spencer (yes good old M&S for 35 pounds (seriously) and it it fits like a glove.  I then got the jacket to match (45 pounds) with it, and a pencil skirt in the same suiting (19.50 pounds) . In other words I made two outfits 99.50 pounds still less than the price of the LK Bennett dress.  I think that is definately some chic-onomy and to the dress is soooo Jackie O meets Michelle O!!!

Original Dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

M& S Dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 On to ironing shirts for the week….

Happy Sunday

Sex….its all good

I am not shallow, but make-up sex is probably the most integral part of a feisty relationship (i.e any relationship with feisty me in it). Can you imagine having the fight and then lousy make-up sex? Then surely you would not be able to forget or forgive what you were fighting about in the first place.  Consequentially it would not qualify as make-up sex. (However you would probably have to deal with the real problem at hand which probably really stems from an unsatisfying sex life- lol..just kidding).

How it all starts

What you want is that angry sex, the kind that makes you confused because at that precise moment you hate the other person so much but your animal instinct is in a world of its own and no matter how hard you try to ignore it…it is too good to resist.

The eye contact during the act is an aphrodisiac of its own…the lust intermingled with hurt, frustration and anger. There is also the tenderness combined with the realisation that no matter what…you love each other.

That is how it happened yesterday, from the chair to the couch, during the last few minutes of the  Arsenal v Everton football game.  Four goals were scored, one by Arsenal, one by Everton, then April, then ML. As you can see, everyone was a winner.

Not a blessed topic…but Happy Sunday everyone

 

Love April

Kenzo Hounsou

 

Finally some pictures of little Kenzo…he is sooo adorable! Kimora is a great Mom and I love how much she adores her little girls and is always trying to nurture their creativity. Now lets see how she turns this poor unsuspecting baby boy into a Mommy’s boy- its gonna be tooo easy!

 

Kimora Lee Simmons, Djimon Hounsou and Kenzo Hounsou

I love this hmmmmm…..

but does Djimon’s foot look slightly ashy?

Its all relative

So much has been going on during my holiday break

One era has come to an end

The best news is that  Catherine passed her exams and Marie is now a Barrister. Marie is a white wig and black robe clad officer of the court. Catherine gives the best gifts in the world and gave her Barrister Bear, now named  ‘Dorchester’ -brother to ‘Claridge,’ (Catherine’s bear who is dressed in Fred Perry as I write …no I just checked with Catherine and he is wearing “Madras shorts and a white polo..and he is bitching because I can’t find his cream linen shirt”

 She ‘adopted him’ for her from a really cool company called the Carbolic Smoke Ball Co that does gifts for lawyers and other professionals.

 

 

 

 

                                                      

 

 

 

  I also love her ‘the World’s Sexiest Lawyer’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She will not be practicing because she will be working for the family business (as the daughter of a big wig …I know quite lazy humour) but that did not stop us from sipping champagne and baptising me with my first Gordon Ramsay restaurant experience.  I rated all my courses very highly (I was literally keeping score out of 6 for each course). I particularly enjoyed the  broad bean and pea risotto, and the lamb and shephard’s pie and the to die for dessert. The veal was not as good as it could have been, and for what it is, I would rather not eat veal (it does not taste good enough to justify killing a baby). 

I also passed my exams and finally put away all my books. My future employers had all my accomplishments gone through with a fine toothed comb (a professional background agency who even checked my credit rating!!!) during which time I realised what it has taken me to get to this stage in my life. O’Levels, A’Levels, 1st Degree (in America), Law Degree (in London), Law School (in London)….and here I am ready to put away the books and become gainfully employed. The other day on a boozy train back home from one of my girls’ nights out (probably a Mexican one – apparently as soon as the sun is shining every meal has to be accompanied by Mojitos, Margharitas and Guacamole) I saw this young lady reading text books and highlighting diligently through my tipsy haze. I gleefully relished the moment when I did not feel guilty I was doing to the same, and that in fact….I would never be a student again. In fact I really wondered whether all that work in the past would be worth it, and whether it would be with the same thoughts that I would watch a hopeful and ambitious student making use of every spare moment to study.

ML’s brother tried to move in with a girl……he fell in love and he let her in. He NEVER has girlfriends, let alone one that he would move in with. It did not work. I think she is a bitch (wait is that the first time I have used the word bitch in the blog??), not for kicking him out, but for encouraging him to drop everything, move out of his home and telling him she wanted him warts and all. She sent him back, he lost his own place and has moved in with us. Can you imagine the girl had the gall to call me and ML…he really needs his family, he has some issues he needs to deal with and I cannot help him. She made two stupid mistakes 1) DO NOT MOVE IN WITH A GUY UNTIL YOU FEEL LIKE YOU KNOW HIM ENOUGH (you can never know everything about anyone but have some sort of friendship and background knowledge of a man before you let him move into your HOUSE) 2) KEEP YOUR BUSINESS TO YOURSELF -she made it a point to call ML, me and ML’s cousin- last time I checked a relationship was between two people and if comfort is sought I thought you went to people you actually know/have met. He says he still loves her. I know he does but she is just keeping him dangling. She tells him she loves him but has never mentioned him coming back, not even for a visit.

Suffice to say, I do not think that he is not going back to live with her. He now lives with ML and I. I have to admit although he only lived with her for a week, he came back housetrained or should I say more considerate. Toilet lid down, not too much radio/beat box/piano noise coming from his room at all hours and he has also begun paying attention to meal times and to curb his drinking- (it was actually an ill-timed drunken fit in front of her family and friends during their first housewarming which led to his ultimate homelessness). He insists he discouraged the idea of hosting anything in their tiny apartment, particularly surrounded by people he has never met and nobody from his own family or his friends (I know its no excuse).

My sister has cut me out of her life AGAIN- weird huh? I was unintentionally caught in the cross- fire between two siblings. But we still have to plan my cousin’s baby shower together. At this stage I sort of feel abandoned by her because she was my only real family in London apart from my outrageously disfunctional aunts who tear up the “how not to live your life manual.”  I miss having her to call and to talk to, someone to share my past with so closely in the way only siblings do. She says that she just wants to spend some time alone and its not me, but that did not stop her from spending quality time with our cousin. NOT FAIR- but, I refuse to be hauled into family politics, especially since I neither have time nor care what happens between siblings who 1) Are much older than me and parents themselves and 2) Have their own relationship and their own issues. Frankly I thought that we all had separate relationships with each other and not Cold War type stand off between East and West. Who really cares anyway? The first time I let her back in but this time….not a chance. It wouldn’t be fair to me (yes I said it).

 

 

The beginning of a new era

This morning I got woken up with some morning loving, and a cup of steamy hot coffee the way that I like it. ML is more excited about my new job than I am but I am only starting next week.I really spoilt him this holiday (I can’t help myself)…two meals a day. Morning cereal after lie-in. Brunch @ about 2pm and wholesome home cooked dinners. (Disclaimer for my sister -not the one who hates me one of the other two- if you are reading this, I am not killing the cause for feminists around the world, feminism is about having choices…..these are my choices) He went back to work today, and I think that he was nervous (weirdly…he smoked two cigarettes and could not stop obsessing about his hair). Two worrying behaviour traits, reserved for another day’s rant.

We are excited about starting a new morning routine.

Haute Chauclit….

 I am dying for an iphone a new laptop, a new camera and MY NEW WORK WARDROBE.

Where is a nice cheap place to rid me of my dark blue jean uniform? Any Londoner’s input is welcome (or anyone else actually because I can ask my baby sister to hook me up).

As usual I have some inspiration- today its of my new work wardrobe… Christian Dior and Jean Paul Gaultier.

Dreams can come true lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Wednesday,

 April

Now I am off to find out what everybody is upto

p.s. If Jessica reads this somehow your blog won’t let me post comments from WordPress (what gives??) lol

Sunday Haute Choclit and great expectations

I was talking to my older brother yesterday  and he was getting ready to go to Manhattan to celebrate their 5^th wedding anniversary by checking into a cosy romantic hotel without my nephew for a couple of days. When I got off the phone my mind wandered back to the day they exchanged vows on a pier in Maine and there was not a dry eye in sight. My brother and his wife are the most practical, organised and efficient people I know but when it comes to each other it’s a different story. They love each other with a youth and innocence. There is a most palpable vulnerability when they are with each other.

The part of the ceremony that I will never forget was when my brother vowed

“To love you the way that you have always dreamt of being loved”

If you really think about it, this is probably the most “all-inclusive vow” it encapsulates the expectations of a partner. In fact ask yourself right now, “Am I being loved the way that I have always dreamt of being loved?”  I believe that we as women always know ‘the way we have always dreamt of being loved.’ We all know instinctively when we are not being loved right- even if there is nothing significantly wrong or that we believe cannot be remedied eventually. The problem is that so often we know this, and we ignore blatant facts. We always dance around the fact that this is what God, karma and the universe had in store for us and we are scared of being alone, scared of not having somebody to love us in any way, right or wrong.

Countless times girlfriends have told me and I have also dished this common line, “So, he is not perfect, but he is a good man” and then follow that up with, “At least he’s not a cheater” or other typical “at least” phrases. I think that by cutting a man this much slack he does not have to strive for anything. There is a risk that we will slowly lower our standards to the point where we forget what mattered in the first place and we wake up one day wondering what it was in the first place that we ever loved.

ML has told me many times that I keep him on his toes more than other women he has dated and he has it on good authority from his friends as well that I am in a league of my own. Apparently I am always trying to whip him into shape, never letting him forget.

But what happens when you just can’t be bothered anymore. When your arms get tired from whipping and the mere thought of having to relay your expectations becomes too burdensome. It should not be so. There is too much noise and I just want peace of mind. Just some silence. Loving me should be second nature, it should be easy.

On to Sunday Haute Choclit

I do not trawl shops or internet websites looking for Sunday Haute Choclit- it finds me. If I am browsing or if I see something or someone who inspires me I will blog it. Catherine finds it appalling that people have blogs about fashion when they have no insight, or a different outlook – to her it is blasphemous to blog about fashion or style unless you subscribe to every version of Vogue and you either have a knack or a ‘gift’- yes it is serious business. I do not claim to have a knack nor would I consider myself trendy (quite the contrary). I just like beautiful things and I like to document things that I am drawn to. I do not specifically pick ethnic designers, they find me. It is also a web-vision board (story for another day).

I was browsing on femail (I promise it is the only thing I would read on dailymail.co.uk), and I came across this article. This dress jumped out at me, and I could see myself wearing it.

Retailing for £300- I think I can just put this on the ‘could have had’ list. The dress is by Tracy Reese

 

Tracy Reese

She is described as having “an innate desire to create beautiful things”

You can check out the rest of the collection here

To be honest there are a couple of things that I like but I am not in lust with anything to make one of my usual mosaics. It is fresh for summer with a pastel/sorbet palette.

That being said the green dress above is still Sunday Haute Choclit worthy…

Happy Sunday

April

i’m too brave to cry

why why….

i said i wouldn’t fall for the hype..

the end